THE PUNTERS
I’ve got to say that the boys did a sterling job of making sure I got to Browns for my last shindig. Before the night was over I found myself swaying in front of the podium with a half drunk scotch in my hand wondering what the hell I was doing there while also debating whether to hurl or not. Anyway, three dancers later we were gone. It was a largely unsatisfying experience but it HAD to be done. Tradition is a bitch. When I’m in these types of establishments (It’s in Shoreditch if anyone’s interested) for some bizarre reason I always find myself looking at the punters as opposed to the ladies on stage. It’s like going to the football and watching the crowd instead. Maybe I’ve been going to too many Fulham games.
The Leaner
Despite of or probably because of the no touching policy enforced by the 7 foot tall black guy. This fella will lean over the railing trying to get the closest look at the stripper’s bits as possible without physically touching her. He plays a very dangerous game.
The Snake Charmee
This guy is seemingly hypnotised by the stripper’s crotch. The problem is even worse in Thailand where the girls can actually play the flute.
The Warhorse
The grizzled veteran of many a strip bar. It no longer titillates him and he now only goes out of habit. He’s the saddest man there.
The Camper
Everytime you go there, he’s there. Mind you, he’s probably thinking the same thing about you.
The Geezer (specific to the UK)
Boys from Essex. Suited and booted. Nuff said.
The Ethnic
I love these guys. They have just come from India and it’s the first time they’ve seen a naked white lady or perhaps any lady. Their reactions are reminiscent of Eddie Murphy in “Coming to America”. A huge shit eating grin followed by “I luv America!”
The Japanese Businessman
I often get mistaken for this fella. The JB is assumed to be a pervert and to have serious money (A stripper’s delight). My only problem with this is that I’m not Japanese.
The Invisible Man
The bloke you go with who suddenly disappears because of one of the following reasons and usually for both of them.
He’s been paying for private show after private show because he enjoys the extra intimacy (haha)
He’s been kicked out for touching.
The Leaner
Despite of or probably because of the no touching policy enforced by the 7 foot tall black guy. This fella will lean over the railing trying to get the closest look at the stripper’s bits as possible without physically touching her. He plays a very dangerous game.
The Snake Charmee
This guy is seemingly hypnotised by the stripper’s crotch. The problem is even worse in Thailand where the girls can actually play the flute.
The Warhorse
The grizzled veteran of many a strip bar. It no longer titillates him and he now only goes out of habit. He’s the saddest man there.
The Camper
Everytime you go there, he’s there. Mind you, he’s probably thinking the same thing about you.
The Geezer (specific to the UK)
Boys from Essex. Suited and booted. Nuff said.
The Ethnic
I love these guys. They have just come from India and it’s the first time they’ve seen a naked white lady or perhaps any lady. Their reactions are reminiscent of Eddie Murphy in “Coming to America”. A huge shit eating grin followed by “I luv America!”
The Japanese Businessman
I often get mistaken for this fella. The JB is assumed to be a pervert and to have serious money (A stripper’s delight). My only problem with this is that I’m not Japanese.
The Invisible Man
The bloke you go with who suddenly disappears because of one of the following reasons and usually for both of them.
He’s been paying for private show after private show because he enjoys the extra intimacy (haha)
He’s been kicked out for touching.
posted by Hooner at 7:30 pm
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