BILLY GOATS!

Okay I didn’t really want to have to comment on this but I feel that I must due to the unwarranted levels of conjecture and rumour mongering. It was a guy in Sudan that married a goat. It wasn’t me though I do thank you for the many messages of congratulations.

I don’t know about you but I feel sort of sorry for the guy. I’m sure it wasn’t his fault. Loneliness with a touch of Sudanese moonshine (that stuff is potent) mixed with three teaspoons of temptation would have been more than enough to warp his concept of socially acceptable behaviour. Some people blame the devil. Some people blame the education system and others blame carbonated drinks with high sugar levels. I like to think its much more sinister than that. I blame the animals. Their big brown eyes, their soft curly fur……erhm I digress.

All animals should be culled at this instant. A world wide genetic breeding programme should be immediately put in place to create Dr Dolittle style Pushmepullyou versions of all the animals in the world or maybe just the cute ones. I’m pretty certain nobody’s ever tried to hump a lion.

Imagine it. Two headed ducks, two headed sheep, two headed cattle and more importantly two headed goats. As far as I could tell despite watching Dr Dolittle at least twenty times Pushmepullyous do not have any obvious orifices. This would guarantee an immediate drop in bestiality across the world and thus hopefully negating the need for the BBC from printing this type of garbage ever again. Is this really newsworthy? Don’t forget the the environmental benefits. Less orifices mean less methane gas which means no global warming.

Too quote a infamous pop star “Billie Jean. Let’s do it cause I believe the children are our future”