DALIAN - LIVING NEXT DOOR TO ALICE.....

A waitress at Mai Shan suggested that a bar called Alice was quite popular. I was immediately suspicious as firstly it was near the Shangri La hotel and secondly sounded like an ex-pat bar but Shirley was up for it and I wanted a change of scenery.

As I entered the first thing I noticed was that the bar was shaped like a penis. We quickly settled on a space on the shaft just below the head. This is where I met the quality controller.

He was drunk, waving hundred kwai notes in the air at the dancers on the bar. Laughing raucously as he slipped them into their panties from his seemingly unlimited supply from his little black bag. He had six local dancers lined up on the bar awaiting his largesse and to each he gave money like a catholic priest providing communion.

I knew immediately that he was Korean.

He grasped my shoulder.

“Ni pang you, piao liang” Translation “Your girlfriend is beautiful”

With my limited and stunted vocabulary I told him that I was also Korean and he instantly proclaimed me a brother. Upon telling me how beautiful Korean girls were he grabbed a dancer and kissed her on the lips. Turning to me he licked his lips.

“Bu hao chu!” Translation “Doesn’t taste good!”

I laughed. Shirley frowned.