THE TRIMESTER OF CONFUSION

I think I put my foot in my mouth again today. Ladies this is not an example of my flexibility but more of my ability to embarrass myself and offend others.

I was sitting down on the Tube today reading my Metro when a youngish lady say in her mid twenties stood in front of me. Now I usually only stand up for pregnant gals or old biddies (thank you women's lib). I casually appraised the situation.

I mentally went through my pregant lady checklist:

1. Does she have visibly swollen ankles? (I start from the ground up ladies) Hmmm 50/50 on that one as she could of just had thick ankles
2. Does she have a distended belly? Once again 50/50. It could of been the trimester of confusion.
3. Is she lactating? That's not really one of them. I'm kidding.

I thought fuck it let's throw the dice so I asked her if she wanted my seat. She replied in the negative and yet took the next available one behind her.

I got that uncomfortable feeling that she wasn't pregnant cause she didn't look happy.