I OFTEN WONDER WHAT PANDA TASTES LIKE!

This is by far the funniest article I have read all year. It's so bizzare it's like something out of South Park.

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2006-05-11/news/xtreme-cuisine/1

My favourite quotes

"Nuge kinda crazy," says Yamamoto. "In Japanese, they say 'kuru-kuru-paa.' You see that film March of the Penguins? Remember how mother go get food to eat, then walk a long way back to ice where father keep nest? We lie on slope, fire on mother penguin as they walk back. Nuge, he shoot flaming arrow at one penguin, and scare many away. Penguin explode, they have so much oil in body. He run down and eat it right there, while still on arrow! He can't wait, he so hungry for penguin."

"I fix her penguin liver pâté, with peppercorn and Armagnac. She stay with me the night and we make love for 15 hour, she love pâté so much. I love her long time. This before I have girlfriend. She say I too controversy to write about. Too controversy!"

"One day I hope I can cook whole Mexcan," sighs Yamamoto. "Maybe baby Mexcan that mother sell to me. Then I make for my good friend. I know Senator will like to eat Mexcan. He only like Mexcan when on his dinner plate."

OH YEAH I WENT TO BARCELONA........LIKE MONTHS AGO

I had a no idea who Gaudi was before I went to Barcelona but I thought it was incredibly cheeky you could charge admission to a half-finished building encased in scaffolding and cluttered with the debris of construction. With the current strategy based upon tourist dollars funding any further construction the current rate of the building should be finished by 2020. Considering it's taken a hundred years to get it to this point I think 2050 would be a safer bet.

Gaudi was heavily infuenced by Lego and Mechano as a child.

YOU SPEWED ON ME!

For five glorious minutes he seemed to having the time of his life, his arms raised roaring his affection for a city he had known for less than a day.

He started to sway. I feel sick.

I helped him to the bathroom where the kindly old attendant ushered him into a clean cubicle which he immediately soiled.

Are you okay mate? Can you make it to the cab?

Yeah I think so.

I helped him to the exit until I felt something warm and wet down my side and looked down to see the puddle on the floor. Bugger.

You spewed on me Dazel and I’m an old testament man from way back. An eye for an eye! A spew for a spew! It might take years but vomit is a dish best served cold.