POOR DEANO!

Poor Deano. Once worshipped for spewing his heart out on a hot, dusty pitch in Madras after hitting a gut wrenching 210, he’s now been sacked from his cushy commentating job after perhaps unwisely being caught on microphone saying that the South African no.4 looked like a terrorist. Mind you, Hashim Amla has a very nice beard.

Should Deano really be blamed for making such a comment? After all, he is only a victim of his environment. Once again, I blame the idiot box. Isn’t it the media who always wheel out the stock footage of bearded men firing guns every time they have a story remotely related to the Middle East.

And now for the weather. The weather in Cairo will be 45 degrees. Its going to be hot out there……..cut to bearded men firing machine guns in the air. I’ve seen it so many times that I put on sunscreen and my swimming trunks every time I see a man with a beard.

We’ve all become conditioned to the inference that bearded men are terrorists or Santa Claus depending on what time of the year it, so is it really our fault then when walking down the street and a bearded man walks past we quickly scan him for explosives? (Yes, I know some women can grow beards)

I think the real culprit is fashion not religious bigotry. Fashions change over time. Years ago, beards were all the rage sported by such luminaries as WG Grace, The Kaiser, Attila the Hun, Blackbeard, Bluebeard, Eric the Red to name but a few. The beard was once a thing of beauty to be envied, even admired. I can’t understand why they are so despised now.

One day in the not so distant apocalyptic future, beards will be back in fashion and it will be the smooth cheeked who will be gawked at and pulled aside for “random” body searches.

In anticipation for this day, I’m secretly buying up shares in every beard manufacturer in China to cash in when the facially follicly challenged like myself buy up to keep up with the fashionistas. I’ll make millions.