5 REASONS I WILL NEVER BECOME A MONK

My cousin took me out or dinner in Insadong on Monday night. It's a place where you get to eat food as eaten by monks using monk foodstuffs obtained in the monky mountains. Kimchi without fish sauce. Dinner without meat. Food without flavour. You get the picture.

After the meal we were treated to traditional dance. Korean dance was explained to me as being shamanistic with many dances for good luck and good harvests. I learned one very important lesson. Do not piss off a Korean woman as they can dance really fast with very sharp implements. Most of the dances involved lots of spinning with machetes and big pitch forks.

1. They don’t eat meat.
2. I don't look good in a bath robe so I assume that would equally apply with robes.
3. I like having hair. Last time I shaved my head my scalp was peeling because I had left the bleach in my hair too long and my mum didn't like it.
4. I don’t like traditional Korean dance.
5. I can’t do kung fu. (If I was to become a Shaolin monk)

Though I am getting the hang of the abstinence thing.