SOUTH KOREA DREAMIN' ON SUCH A WINTERS DAY
Anyway for those who don't already know I'm going to Korea (the motherland) in October. The only reason I was even thinking of going was because Bavan is working there for two weeks internally auditing somebody (he he that sounds rude) and my original intention was to get shit faced in Seoul for a week but somehow it now includes visiting family who I haven’t seen for donkey’s years.
It’s been almost 15 years since the last time I visited. My impressions of Korea as a kid were amazement at the masses of people, the joys of bathing with thirty other people, a child’s appreciation for the easy availability of fireworks and bibi guns (I’m lucky to have made it back with two good eyes and all my fingers), how much fun it was to order dog and fight with over the four drumsticks, the stupidity of eating toxic snow and marvelling at the kindness of relatives whom I had never met before. My impression may have been slightly biased as I went during new year celebrations and you are given money for bowing and paying respect to your older relatives. Amazing how quickly you can learn a new language when there are cash incentives. I came back minted. My mother offered to hold my cash for me and to this day I haven’t seen a cent!
I’m not sure what to expect this time round. Like myself I’m sure Korea has changed immeasurably since the last time I was there. For instance my mother was cutting my hair with a bowl back then. I assure you she no longer does this now. My biggest concern is my really piss poor Korean. It's probably the main reason why I've stayed away. Bunking off Korean school after Mom had dropped me off has really come back to bite me on the ass. You can get around Korea without the language as many locals are keen to help the lost foreigner around but I guess knowing it would be somewhat expected from me. Luckily I know all the swear words so if some sly fucker tries to play the let's smile at the foreigner while actually swearing at him trick I can kick him in the nuts.
My father is worried that my uncle (his brother) will treat me poorly. Let’s just say things are frosty. One visit home in 28 years pretty much says it all. To make a good first (well technically second) impression I am now required to wear a suit, tie and good shoes and hand out business cards like confetti while repeating my position, salary and national insurance number like some prisoner of war. He just thinks that I will get more respect from my uncle if I do so and hence he encourages me to do the same when introducing Bavan to any of my other relatives. His exact words were “Don’t give him shit (in front of the relatives). Tell them how smart he is and that he has an important job with a big company”. Considering that my father doesn’t know Bavan from say Yudesh (I’m kidding) I don’t think it would of mattered if Bavan cleaned toilets or was an internal auditor to my uncle he was going to be next CEO of Fox. This is going to be hard.
Happy Birthday Hodges. I feel like absolute crap this morning so I must of had a great time. Sosho was fucking cool last night even though I had to stumble back home early. Anyway I'm off to V Festival today in Chelmsford.
I've never actually eaten dog but you gotta keep the punter's happy.
It’s been almost 15 years since the last time I visited. My impressions of Korea as a kid were amazement at the masses of people, the joys of bathing with thirty other people, a child’s appreciation for the easy availability of fireworks and bibi guns (I’m lucky to have made it back with two good eyes and all my fingers), how much fun it was to order dog and fight with over the four drumsticks, the stupidity of eating toxic snow and marvelling at the kindness of relatives whom I had never met before. My impression may have been slightly biased as I went during new year celebrations and you are given money for bowing and paying respect to your older relatives. Amazing how quickly you can learn a new language when there are cash incentives. I came back minted. My mother offered to hold my cash for me and to this day I haven’t seen a cent!
I’m not sure what to expect this time round. Like myself I’m sure Korea has changed immeasurably since the last time I was there. For instance my mother was cutting my hair with a bowl back then. I assure you she no longer does this now. My biggest concern is my really piss poor Korean. It's probably the main reason why I've stayed away. Bunking off Korean school after Mom had dropped me off has really come back to bite me on the ass. You can get around Korea without the language as many locals are keen to help the lost foreigner around but I guess knowing it would be somewhat expected from me. Luckily I know all the swear words so if some sly fucker tries to play the let's smile at the foreigner while actually swearing at him trick I can kick him in the nuts.
My father is worried that my uncle (his brother) will treat me poorly. Let’s just say things are frosty. One visit home in 28 years pretty much says it all. To make a good first (well technically second) impression I am now required to wear a suit, tie and good shoes and hand out business cards like confetti while repeating my position, salary and national insurance number like some prisoner of war. He just thinks that I will get more respect from my uncle if I do so and hence he encourages me to do the same when introducing Bavan to any of my other relatives. His exact words were “Don’t give him shit (in front of the relatives). Tell them how smart he is and that he has an important job with a big company”. Considering that my father doesn’t know Bavan from say Yudesh (I’m kidding) I don’t think it would of mattered if Bavan cleaned toilets or was an internal auditor to my uncle he was going to be next CEO of Fox. This is going to be hard.
Happy Birthday Hodges. I feel like absolute crap this morning so I must of had a great time. Sosho was fucking cool last night even though I had to stumble back home early. Anyway I'm off to V Festival today in Chelmsford.
I've never actually eaten dog but you gotta keep the punter's happy.
posted by Hooner at 8:05 pm
2 Comments:
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There is no way you could confuse Bavan and myself....
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