PIMP MOMMY

“hoon, you're gonna love this. this friday, there are two birthday parties going on at the metra so looks like there'll be loads of chinks...loads of cute girls...wipe that saliva dripping from your mouth! :)”

God bless her cotton socks. Give her a crazy ass hat, a cane and a fur trimmed coat and call her my pimp mommy.

Why am I so deserving of her help. To quote Sandy “You’re a shit dancer!” You know you’ve made a new friend when they can be brutally honest with you and yet you don’t mind or maybe it’s just that I had secretly suspected it all along. Maybe you all knew it and hadn’t told me to spare my feelings. Maybe I’m saying maybe too many times and am now coming off like some weird, paranoid freak.

So if you have seen me dance (I know that’s not many of you as I only discovered the neutron dance after leaving Australia’s sunny shores) please let me know. Can Hooner dance?

As Oprah said today, "You can't get better until you admit you have a problem."

More Ashes haiku.......

The Pigeon Strides In
English Batsmen Hesitate
Five For Twenty One